Friday, February 29, 2008

Saying "I Thank You"

Words in themselves do not have meaning but are given life by those who utter them
On Tuesday night, my mum walked over into my room and handled me an angbao. It was almost mid-night and she in a typical motherly expression of concern and love wished me happy birthday. Sitting at my table preparing my essay outline, i smiled and thanked her and within seconds homed in all my attention to the given subject.

Interestingly, my 24th birthday was a little better than my previous. Last year, was a pretty quiet one. Sitting on the train back home on Thursday night after a nice get together arranged by Kumuthan at Shaun's place, I was quite elated and thanked God. But as i thanked God, i asked myself what it really means to say "Thank You".

Thank you to me is more often the deep feeling of gratitude i've inside but in given form it is at best found in two words with the silence and the passage of time to share that true intent. But is that the true meaning of the two words? Besides allowing the words to convey the fullest intend, should it not be accompanied by a tone and a body expression that cherishes the full meaning of the word. Body language is more than an adjunct illustration.

Still i miss the point when i ought to actualize it. It cost so little but can sometimes ask for so much. Perhaps it is the necessity of giving too much a piece of yourself away. But then again what is that 'piece of yourself' suppose to retain? At times it is simply a fear of overcompensating, on other occasion it is the petty significance that requires no further than a curt thank you. Or it could be that all important documents you're working on for you to seriously contemplate giving away precious attention from.

So perhaps i did miss the point of the whole spirit of thanks giving. Beckons me to examine myself if this is the same attitude God gets each day not just from me but the millions who only understand how to entreat but never retreat to pause for a moment of praise and worship and even thanks-giving. It makes me wonder how often i felt taken for granted even when people offered a plain thank you and assume that its all eugene chew needs.

But can a man expect anything better if he himself should only understand how to reply in a like minded coldness? If i could be so foolish but bold to suggest, maybe thank you is a big appreciation however small or big. It is not just the two words. It is the expression of intent, a gratitude extended from the heart across to the other in an intangible manner which he/she can only understand in return.

Perhaps that may be just the real kind of thank you i am thinking about.

So to all the folks who wished me well and contributed to a thing or 2 to my birthday this year, for that i say a deep deep deep THANK YOU. You made it special in some small way or another.


baa the white sheep said...

hahah happy 24th birthday eugene:) how does it feel to be 24?
is it like omgoodness i'm gonna be 25 soon?

-huijun (fmc)

Eugene Chew said...

I quite like the idea i am growing older each year at times. haha!